S Shinigami
by Tyragosa
Summary: Shiroi Shinigami is story about nameless girl locked in old mansion, soon found by old guy named Watari. Thanks to his help she gets away from the cage she had been locken in 22 years but little did she know about real reason for her being locked in there
1. First Chapter  Unlock the Cage

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Black feathers symboling death._

_Blood red eyes which see though your life._

_Being what was never supposed to be born in this world._

First Chapter

I opened my eyes as bright light reached them. Sun had risen and now filled my room with warm light from big window at the end of my room. Looking out it with my sleepy eyes I wondered, how could all that light always just appear and be gone later. Leaving moon shine in it's place. There was always something watching people on earth from distance. Be it god or death gods.

Slowly I got up and looked around my room. It looked same as it always did. Bed where I slept on was in middle of room. It's big and frilled like one of those in princess stories but instead of soft colors it was dark colored from the dark brown wooden frames to dark red sheets, blankets and pillows. Though I didn't really care long as it was soft and comfortable. Other furniture in room were same dark colored. Closet next to door was made from same dark wood as bed, nightstand and door. On cold laminate floor there was wide carpet with red base and golden pattern was in middle of it, trying to look like some kind of roses. Both sides of window had red velvet curtains to make the white wall look less empty as that wall only had one big window. Nightstand next to my bed had two drawers and on the table there was golden lamp.

As I walked outside my room I got into narrow corridor with lot doors along the way but I passed them all and walked to wide stairs in main hall leading to first floor. Library was in first floor and that's where I spend my time reading books, because I don't have anything better to do. I don't get visitors as this house looks haunted from outside it's far away from the city. There only one visitor during my time living here but he had reason to be here, which i didn't know back then.

-Flashback-

I was reading book in big library, studying about outside world, like I did every day. While waiting for my parents who had left seven years ago, asking me to wait here for them to come back. So today I was quietly learning English, until I heard loud crack of the main door opening and ran to the main hall thinking that my parents have came back, but to my disappointment it wasn't them.

Instead there was tall man wearing black suit and top hat along with black cane under his hand helping him to stand. His hair and moustache were light grey colored making him look quite old. He also had eyeglasses.

After while looking around the mansion, he noticed me looking at him from wide staircase leading to second floor.

''Excuse me, It was raining heavily outside so I entered your home without your permission.'' He said in polite way, but I didn't answer so he began introducing himself. ''My name is Quillsh Wammy but you can call me Watari. What is your name little girl?'' while saying that he smiled warmly as my father did in past.

He didn't seem suspicious or bad guy so I decided to answer him, ''Name ? I don't have one.'' Hearing me say that he raised eyebrow thinking about something.

''Where are your parents ?'' He asked after while.

''I don't know'' I answered continuing with little pause, ''But they promised to come back.'' Old guy Watari seemed sad as I told him that but to light up the atmosphere I decided to show him around mansion, while he was waiting for the rain to stop. He gladly accepted my offer an followed me as I showed him around.

It still rained even after four hours had passed but I didn't mind. It has been long time since I have had this much fun. Watari teached me lot interesting things and told me stories about the world outside my house. I also learned lot about him.

Watari is famous inventor and founder of an orphanage in England, It is orphanage for gifted children. He wanted to ask me come with him there but for some reason he didn't but he did promise visit me occasionally.

After two more hours rain stopped and he was able to leave but before he was at door he stopped and turned around to see me.

''It would be easier to call you if you had a name. Do you want to me to give you one ?'' Watari asked smiling warmly and I nodded in response.

He inspected my features and then came up with name, ''How about Gina ? You have silvery white hair and Gina means Silvery in Japanese language.''

He asked and I smiled happily, ''Thank you, I like it !''

After seeing me pleased with my new name he waved goodbye and slowly walked outside and disappeared as the door closed,

-Flashback end's-

I smiled thinking back, come to think of it has been 15 years alredy and Watari kept his promise sometimes visiting me but lately he has only sent letters. He probably has some big case to solve with L.

I have never met L but sometimes I talk with him via laptop, which Watari gave me. To tell the trust, I'm also one of L's successors with initial G. Watari seemed to be impressed with my fast learning ability and asked me to become one of L's successors like the kids in Wammy's orphanage. Though I'm quite different from them, the fact of me living outside wammy's house, I have other secret too. Watari and L think that my skin is pale, hair silvery white and eyes red because of albino genes but that's not really the case. I haven't told them trust; because it's better that they don't know about my mother.

Right now I didn't have time to think, because today was the day when i'am leaving this boring old mansion. I had read every book in that library and wasted 22 years of my life here waiting for the impossible and with impossible, I meant the fact of my parents returning.

Back then Watari looked so sad as I had mentioned about my parents. He knew that they wouldn't come back. Watari was friend of my father's and he came here first time 15 years ago looking at me and knowing that my father was dead. My father had asked Watari to look after me but he knows nothing about my mother.

I am someone who never was in population register or records. Someone without existence. Like my mother who no one other than my father was able to see but unlike her people can see me and that is the reason why I was locked here for so long.

Week ago I had gotten letter from Watari saying that he is coming to get me on Friday and that is today. I will start living together with him and L. Watari was like father to me but I wasn't all that sure about this L person.

I left my option about L to that of weird and started packing my favorite things with me, even though I didn't have much to pack. Clothes I wore were mainly frilly and aristocrat style as this mansion was very old. Dress I liked most was all black with oblique cut making the front skirt look short and back skirt long with many layers. (Dress in Gina's picture) Most of my clothes were hard to wear in public as they had long and heavy hem making it hard to walk in. So I decided that first thing I do in city, is to go shopping proper clothes.

Along with clothing I packed my favorite hand mirror with lovely rose engraving at the back and my diary, what I decided to start writing soon as I start living in the city. I packed some other useful stuff too but they weren't worth mentioning. As I had packed everything needed I to the main hall and waited for someone open that large door of this mansion. Yes... I could open that door myself but I didn't dare to do so, because of the fact that I was always inside this mansion. I never, ever once did go outside. While waiting you closed your eyes and started to sing a song you liked very much.

_~You said that if you could flap your wings_

_You would never come back down_

_You always aimed for that blue, blue sky_

_As you awaken from a dream_

_In an unknown world_

_Spread your wings and take flight_

_You got tired of seeing the cage_

_You threw it away and never looked back~_

Your face flushed red as you realized that you were being listened the whole time and could hear someone clapping at you. Watari picked up your bag and the person behind him was looking at you.

You jerked back, pointing at the person behind Watari ''Who the hell is he supposed to be ?''

Watari looked where you pointed and then answered with smile ''That's L''.

You looked at him in surprise. That thing was supposed to be the great detective L ?

You inspected this weird guy. His hair was messy and black colored. He was wearing simple long sleeved white shirt and faded blue jeans but what you took most notice of was his dark eyes and black circles under his eyes what made his stare look like he was insane. Also he was standing weirdly with his back bend and his hands were in his jean pockets.

''No way...'' You said in disbelief, ''That's just wrong.'' You said repeating as you followed Watari to his car, L following behind you and so you left the mansion where you were locked for 22 years.

~Tyragosa


	2. Second Chapter From the shadows to light

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Humans fear and death gods laugh._

_Hence this world's history being written a new by blood._

_Helpless little girl not understanding the grave danger of her whole existence._

Second Chapter

Slowly I woke up as you heard people talking somewhere close. For first time ever you saw unfamiliar room as soon as you opened your eyes. The room where you were in was lot smaller than the one in mansion but you didn't care, It was nice room.

The room where you were didn't have much furniture, because it was small but it had those furniture which were needed. Normal sized bed against wall with black white striped blanket and pillow. Sheets were grey along with bed frame. Walls were painted white and floor was made from light brown laminate. At the other side of room there was light brown wooden worktable and chair from same wood. Next to worktable there was white bookshelf with some books and in middle of the bookshelf and door there was brown closet. Door was painted white along with frames of two square looking windows. Instead of normal curtains, there were silver colored venetian blinds on two windows. Tables didn't have any lamps but there was ceiling light, which switch was near door.

Looking at floor, I noticed that there were white ruffled carpet and my bag, with some clothes folded next to it. I smiled by myself thinking that Watari must have noticed me having some clothing troubles. Walking closer you picked up the clothes and looked at them.

There were white blouse with thin black stripes and short sleeves. Under it was short black skirt with some layers and black velvet ribbon at the side of skirt. There also was pair of black white striped knee socks. It wasn't bad coordination so I decided to wear them, instead of this old styled red dress, which I was wearing now.

After changing my clothes I decided to find out where those talking sound came from. Opening door of the room I was in earlier, now entering new room with people arguing about something but they soon stopped and looked at me. I looked back at them in silence, until I heard familiar voice and turned my head to the direction of voice seeing Watari. ''Did you sleep well, Gina?'' Watari asked next to L who was doing something on computer. I just nodded in smile as response but then looked back at people sitting on two green sofas as they were still staring at me in silence.

''who is she ?'' Youngest guy from the group of six asked.

''Her name is Gina and she will be helping us with Kira case.'' Watari answered and I looked at him not understanding what they were speaking about.

''Oh... Nice to meet you, I'm Touta Matsuda ! '' The youngest guy in group of six introduced himself in loud voice and I nodded. After him, other guys began introducing themselves too.

Hideki Ide, Hirokazu Ukita, Kanzo Mogi, Shuichi Aizawa, Touta Matsuda, Soichiro Yagami, Watari, L and me were people investigating Kira case but there was just slight problem... No one never told me anything about this kira case.

''So. What is this kira case about ?'' I asked in annoyed tone, because I wasn't told anything about this before and I was now sitting on sofa like everyone else, apart from L who was still on computer and Watari who was standing next to L.

''It's big case about mass murdering. ''Kira'' has killed many hundreds of criminals and even some innocent people. His killing way is still unknown to us, but we know that he can kill people with just name and face and that's why we are investigating secretly.'' Watari explained to me.

''Why kill criminals, isn't that little weird ?'' I asked thinking what's the point doing that.

''As Kira started to kill criminals, the criminal rate has dropped dramatically and we believe that being his reason for this.'' Soichiro yagami answered to me.

''Ignorant brat '' I thought aloud.

''Agreed '' L surprisingly said leaving his gaze from the computer screen to us. Surprising me, because I hadn't heard him speak a word yesterday. This time instead of standing weirdly he was sitting in weird way, if you can even call that sitting. More like crouching. He had same clothes as yesterday but this time he was bare footed and other noticeable thing was that he was eating sweets all the time you had been in this room.

''Want some ?'' L asked seeing you look at his cake piece. You just shook your head.

''Why you sit like that ?'' You asked pointing at L. Making others shocked as you asked the thing they wanted to ask, but they didn't dare to.

''I just can't sit any other way than this. If I sit the way other people do, my reasoning ability drops by 40%.'' L answered and you just sighed not wanting to argue with him anymore.

L began explaining everyone about leads he had from kira and talked with others separately to make sure that anyone within us wasn't kira. You were exception as you had helped L before with many cases but for some reason this wasn't mentioned at all. Not like you even cared.

After explaining the case Watari gave you permission to skip investigation for today to explore city as you had just arrived here. You agreed happily wondering where you could go first. Before coming here you had written big list of places that you want to visit when you got here. At first you were disappointed as Watari pointed out the fact, that you were here to investigate thinking that you wouldn't get chance to explore city but now you were happily thinking about all nice places you had read about. Soon you came to decision for your first destination and that was nice cafe you had heard about. The cafe was inside big shopping mall so you could buy some nice clothes when you were at it.

Grapping your bag you were about to leave but before you opened door L stopped you. ''Wait, take those with you.'' L Said offering you cell phone and golden colored card. You took them like he asked and inspected the card. It was card for the hotel room you were in now and to get inside you needed right card. That was understandable but cell phone was not.

''Why a cell phone ? I never had one so it's not like I need it now either.'' You said turning your head to look at L.

''So that you can contact us, when you need help.'' L answered with his gaze on computer screen. You got annoyed, because he treated you like a kid when he himself behaved more like one but you didn't complain and this time went out for real.

City was even more lively, than you had thought. There were lot of people along with lots of buildings and traffic. At first you had trouble finding the right streets going to shopping mall, which you were looking for but some people helped you telling you that I could ask taxi to take me there and that helped a lot. Thanks to that advice you were already standing in front of huge shopping mall but as you got inside you didn't have a clue where to go first. So you decided to ask direction from guy who was leaning against wall with bored look.

''Excuse me. Do you happen to know where is that cafe, what is famous from the coffee they make ?'' You asked but the guy didn't seem to notice, so you had to ask twice until he noticed you.

''Go to left and then go upstairs. In second floor you will see two corridors, take right one and walk until you are in front of ice cream shop. After it you will have to turn left and then go another pair of stairs to third floor...The cafe you're looking for is at the end of third floor.'' He kept talking but you completely dropped off in middle. ''That's it. Did you understand ?'' He asked not realizing that his explaining was too complicated for someone that has never been here.

''...Eh?'' I answered without thinking.

''Fine, I'll show you the way.'' He said with sigh and started to walk. You quickly followed after him, not wanting to lose your guide in crowd of people. While following him you got chance to look at him properly.

He had short brown hair, but long enough that it comes down to his collar and his eyes were darker brown than his hair. His body build was tall and that of athletic people had. He wore formal clothing and his look was sharp so you came to the conclusion that he must be quite smart.

After about 10 minutes you came in front of cafe, which matched the pictures you had seen in internet. It was nice just as you had though.

''As gratitude from your help, I can buy you cup of coffee.'' You offered with sweet smile.

''Sure now that I am already here.'' He answered taking your offer.

''Ah ! By the way, what's your name ?'' I asked wanting to make some new acquaintances here in city.

''Yagami Light'' He answered in bored tone as I was waiting for ordering.

''People call me Gina, nice to meet you Raito.'' I introduced myself with smile.

[Yagami light's pov]

''People call me Gina, nice to meet you Raito.'' You heard the girl in front of you say with silly smile on her face. She called you with your first name like she was good friend of yours, normally you would get annoyed but this time you didn't mind as she seemed just to be clueless. Finally line in front of you two was gone and she made orders.

''One coffee and Cup of Peach ice tea please.'' She ordered giving some money to female shop assistant who took our orders and gave us cup of coffee and ice tea.

''Here you go !'' Gina said giving me cup of coffee and we moved to sit on chairs in the cafe.

''You were after cafe with good coffee and you order ice tea ?'' You asked wondering why she suddenly decided to change her mind.

''I can't handle hot stuff and also I never said that I was looking for good coffee, just the cafe.'' She answered while sipping her ice tea.

You though for a while and quietly drank your coffee without saying word. Glancing over her pale and unusual figure. She had that mysterious air around her and the way how she introduced herself was strange.

''I have to go now, thanks for coffee.'' You said quickly remembering that you had something planned for tonight and decided to leave.

As you walked further away from the cafe where you were earlier you noticed familiar black figure laughing like he was insane.

''Hello ryuk, where did you go this time ?'' You questioned black shinigami following you, who was still laughing madly but then stopped suddenly stopped and said ''Not saying this for your sake but you could stay away from _her''._

''I wasn't planning on that but why are you saying this ?'' You asked from ryuk as him saying something like that is rare but he stayed silent.

[Back in Gina's pov]

You were still in cafe, even though Raito already left but you were too deep in your thoughs to leave. The presence you had felt while ago was bothering you. You Knew what it was, within the blood mixed in your own you could feel it. _Death god_

_We met, and destiny begins to turn_

_It's a secret that no one, no one knows about_

_I fall, I fall, I fall_

_And I certainly can't return anymore, even if I carve out my my sins_

_Past could not be rewritten._

~Tyragosa


	3. Third Chapter The moving hands of clock

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Time does not stop even with her plea._

_Thus, the hands of clock have begun to move_

_Tampering with the rules of world will bring chaos._

Third Chapter

Yesterday I came back late at night, as I was shopping the whole day trying to forget that disgusting presence I had felt earlier that day but I couldn't forget it. Though it wasn't presence similar to _that shinigami _at all but the fact of it being shinigami's presence made you uneasy. One thing you hated was Death gods; they took everything near you away just to make you suffer. Your memories were blurry as they had been erased once but you could still remember most important points. Although you didn't want remember but the blood mixed in your own kept reminding you.

Your mother was from peculiar family. Thought generations they made contact with Death gods and quarter of their blood was that of Death gods but sometimes their body didn't accept it and they went insane and killed themselves. If the blood accepted someone that person could life long live aging slower than others and in contact shinigami was allowed to collect half of that person's life as its own when they were about to die. Your mother was one of those that the blood didn't accept completely. When she received contact and accepted shinigami's blood she went insane but recovered year later. After that she met my father and they fell in love and I was born but for some reason two years later of my birth my mother become crazed again ending up killing herself, leaving me with my father.

Years passed normally, until something unexpected happened... My father, who is curious type, picked up unusual white notebook with black pages. Words ''डेथ नोट'' were written on front with black. Your father didn't understand them as they were in language, which he didn't know but his curiosity won over taking the notebook with him. That's when everything changed...

Not knowing, if it was fate or disaster as those two met again. My mother who I knew in past was no longer alive as human but as a Death god. Her becoming one may have been because of the quarter of shinigami blood or like they say in stories that person dying from suicide will become death god. Either way she become one and the death note my father picked was her's.

When person becomes death god their memories disappear but after meeting my father and me again she started to remember. Death god must never regain their memories; if they do they are to be executed. What's more she broke death god rules by saving my life with the shinigami blood. Before dying she made me drink her black shinigami blood and gave me her shinigami eyes, ripping my own eyes out and placing red shinigami eyes in their places. That may have seemed cruel but back then I was weak child with life threatening sickness, what also devoured my eyesight so as a mother she didn't have choice but to do it knowing that she would die soon anyway. The blood could have killed me but it didn't and I survived but my father died protecting me, because I was being that couldn't be meant to life as I had much more than quarter of death god's blood. Maybe even more than half of my blood was black now. Because of the shinigami's blood my hair turned white and my skin pale and thanks to the shinigami eyes I was able to see again but I also saw lot of things, I didn't want to see.

I often wondered why I wasn't killed but I soon came to know. Shinigami couldn't kill without death note and I was never given real name so killing me would be impossible without name. That is why some tried to drive me into despair and kill myself but I didn't fall into that remembering my mother who killed herself and suffered even more.

After my parents death I picked up that Death note that once belonged to my mother and sealed my memories within it. Locking it away in that mansion and making me forget things that were most painful, that's why my memories were blurry as I was still half human.

Slowly you opened old diary, it was your mothers. In middle of its pages was picture of them together. You picked it up and looked it with sad smile on your face.

They both died young but your father was an actor when he still lived and this picture was taken when your father asked your mother to act as his pair in one movie once to show her how fun acting can be.

The movie was about Young vampire and heiress of rich family, that fell in love with each other but love between human and vampire was not allowed and girl's parents ordered her to kill the vampire but she couldn't do it and they ended up running away together but vampires life was much longer than girl's so in promise of their eternal love he turned her into vampire and so they lived loving each other for long.

You smiled thinking back, when you had loved this movie very much and watched it many times. Now days you didn't watch it anymore, because you would only think your parents if you watched it. You didn't want to remember anymore sorrowful memories as you were already about to cry and that's when someone entered your room surprising you and letting one teardrop slowly fall from your eye. L was the one who entered your room.

''I found someone who is... Wait, why are you crying ?'' L was about to say something but noticed your tears.

''No i'm not, just some dust got into my eye, go on with what you were about to say.'' You quickly answered wiping your tears and looked away from L.

''...Oh okay. I found someone who may be Kira.'' He answered quietly knowing that you lied but saw that you didn't want to speak about whatever for you were crying.

''He's here, come out to look when you feel better.'' Saying that L left your room leaving you alone sitting on your bed. You washed your face in bathroom, which was linked to your room, erasing the fact that you were crying little while ago. Looking at the mirror you were satisfied and went to the room where L and everyone else were but stopped before you got anywhere near others, noticing familiar figure.

''...Raito ?'' You shouted pointing at the familiar figure you had met yesterday.

He turned his head to your direction with eyes widening as he noticed you, ''Gina, what are you doing here ?'' He asked in confusion.

''That's what I want to ask from you.'' You answered in confusion yourself too but then remembered, what L had said and asked, ''...Wait is he the one you suspect L ?''

'' You already know each other, if so then that makes things easier.'' L pointed out ignoring your question so you took that as a yes. Light just nodded at L. Now looking at Raito you noticed something, what you hadn't noticed earlier... You didn't see his lifetime like you usually saw on people. Suddenly you took more interest in the kira case thinking back, what others had told you about this case. Your eyes widened in horror as you suddenly realized something...

_On that day, my heart crumbled away soundlessly_

_With memories that I can't erase even if I broke down and screamed_

_The darkness flows into my eyes_

_I sink into the tomorrow where I can't even see colors anymore_

~Tyragosa


	4. Fourth Chapter Forgotten Memories

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Seeking the note of death,_

_Soon she cannot turn back anymore._

_She shall remember everything once again._

Fourth Chapter

Earlier you had left the investigation room in hurry, leaving everyone else in there to wonder what happened to you as you just rushed out. The trust behind kira case suddenly hit you as you were thinking they way how he kills criminals with only face and name, which was very similar to the way how death gods do it. You had heard the rumors that death god may accidentally drop their note in human world and if human pick it up they can keep it and kira could be using death note to kill.

To prove yourself you took taxi back to your old mansion, where you had hidden your mother's notebook. You didn't really want to touch it but now you didn't have much of choice and you had already remembered most of the past. Running to the mansion's cellar you found old locked chest and opened it to find your mother's notebook still there. You picked it up but before you could open it to look inside you fell to the cold ground unconsciously.

[Yagami Light's pov]

It had been four hours already and Gina was nowhere to be seen. Her expression before she left was bothering you. She clearly realized something but you weren't sure what it was but for while you had felt strange like you were seen through.

''Are you okay ?'' L asked looking at you as he realized that you weren't listening what others were saying at all.

''...Oh sorry I was just thinking.'' You answered quickly so that you wouldn't raise L's suspicion on you even more.

''About what ?'' L asked.

''About Gina.'' You answered honestly as it didn't have anything suspicious.

''Oh... I have been wondering for a while, where do you two know each other ?'' L asked

''We met yesterday in shopping mall, why are you asking ?''

''Quite coincidence as she just came to city yesterday and you're both working in kira case.'' L stated suspecting that it wasn't coincidence at all.

''What are you trying to prove ? It's not like I even know anything about her.'' You said.

''...That's true.'' L agreed.

''Watari were you able to contact Gina ?'' L asked.

''No, her phone seems to be switched off.'' Watari answered while trying to call Gina.

Ryuk had been laughing behind you for a while but because you were with everyone else you weren't able to ask anything.

[Gina's pov]

You were still lying on cold floor, which was making you shiver but your legs didn't move so you couldn't get up but your hands did move and with them you picked up the death note, that dropped when you fell. You were right after all about kira but currently that didn't matter to you.

If only your memories were sealed inside death note, that would have been fine but it wasn't so. The real reason why this notebook was hidden wasn't what you remembered but something else and now you understood it. Before dying your father had sealed your shinigami powers away. Within the black blood there was unthinkable power, that you couldn't control when you were small. Probably you weren't even now able to control it, as you are hurt by the past without being able to face future, it would be too easy to the blood to take over your mind but you tried to control yourself so that it wouldn't take over your. our other blood had existence itself.

_''Come on let me take over, why do you oppose when we are together at last ?_'' Said familiar voice sending chills to your spine.

''You're only bloodthirsty murderer !'' You shouted out as answer.

_''Did you forget, that you are too ?_''She said in playful tone but you couldn't object. After all what she said was the trust. Tears silently fell down to the cold floor as your body was aching, because of the dark blood trying to take over and as you were recalling your old memories.

Back in old days you didn't know anything and wanted to kill those death gods who killed your close ones so you wanted to kill those death gods but the power within you ended up killing other than death gods too. You couldn't control it and it completely took over you until your father sealed it away with your bad memories.

Thinking about, it was good that you didn't tell anyone where you were going and were now alone in this mansion so that no one would be killed, if you went insane now. This whole mansion was your cage, because in your shinigami state you cannot leave from here, if you can't control yourself and you didn't have clue how to do it right now.

_''Who do you want to kill now~~?'' _voice asked in joyful voice.

''No one and could you just shut up or disappear ?'' You shouted.

_''Do you really think that you can oppose me, I think not~~_''She said stating the trust, which you couldn't object. You had to think way how to stay sane and fast_. _Or else you were in deep trouble. You were in deep thoughts and then you realized picture in the notebook remembering words that were once said for you. You smiled a little but then stopped and thought about the reason why you stayed in realm of living and said ''You are no longer needed.'' You whispered with icy voice as you realized it. You were no longer the weak human you once were so why would you fear yourself now ? You could control the blood within you as you had abandoned your human self completely, because you didn't want to be drowned in your past any longer, it didn't change anything.

_''...you really are awakened then, I see.'' _voice said and disappeared from your head_. _You sighed in relief looking at the picture in your hand of young boy, who once saved you. The picture had been in your mother's, no... in your death note all those years as you had been looking for it. It wasn't that you had quarter of death god's blood, more like you now only had quarter of human's blood inside you and that blood wasn't just any kind of blood death gods had but it was _that shinigami's blood_.

[Yagami Light's pov]

In the end Gina never returned, even though everyone had been waiting for her to come back. You had gotten little worried too if something happened to her but L and Watari seemed even more worried and kira case wasn't going anywhere this way.

''L, I got information that she took taxi back to that mansion.'' Watari said.

''Why ?'' L asked

''I don't know but according to driver she was muttering something about notebook.'' Watari answered and that shocked you. Did she know about death notes ? If she did then you would be in deep trouble as she was taking part in kira case investigation.

''_No she won't say anything.'' _Ryuk said laughing hysterically again making you ask why was he so sure about this but he kept quiet again. From the start there had been something weird about her. You had heard that until now she lived in old mansion all alone without contact to outside world but you wondered what was the reason behind that.

''Watari prepare car I'm going there.'' L ordered.

''Can I come too ? I'm worried about her as her friend.'' You said smiling sweetly even though that was lie. You wanted to know what notebook she was looking for.

''Sure.'' L said and so you three walked out from hotel into black car.

In your way to the mansion L and Watari were speaking about some pointless stuff related to sweets L wanted but you didn't listen them as you were more curious about Gina's earlier behavior.

After two hours you saw huge mansion in middle of forest. Watari drove inside mansion's courtyard, which was surrounded by old stonewall all around the mansion with only one big gate. The mansion itself looked old and abandoned making you wonder why Gina had wanted to come here as it was creepy and old.

Everyone stepped out of the car and walked rocky path toward the mansion's main doors. Courtyard was covered by wild roses as no one took care of them.

Watari opened the main door, making you jump as loud crack was heard from the old door. Unlike outside the mansion seemed very nice from inside. Like those old styled mansions with big red carpets and wide stairs. There was also old statues and big paintings next to walls. In middle of hall there were big windows with velvet red curtains going all the way to floor. Looking around you felt like some old noble, no you were the god itself.

[Gina's pov]

You sat on stairs waiting for others come to pick you up as you had gotten message that they will be coming to the mansion. You were now done with this place anyway. Slightly lowering your gaze you saw the same picture, which you had picked up earlier and smiled little thinking back but snapped out of your thoughts as you heard main door opening and some familiar people coming inside.

Yagami light was looking around like he stepped to other world and L too was still impressed by your family's mansion even thought he had been here once before. Watari was used to this place, because he was your father's old friend. So instead of gazing all around in awe he noticed you first as he came in.

You got up and merrily jumped stairs down, stopping in front of Watari. Now Raito and L noticing you too and Raito was first one to open his mouth.

''This mansion sure looks a lot nicer inside than outside but anyway. We were worried about you.'' Raito said while still gazing around but now that you knew who he really was, you weren't all that sure could you trust him anymore.

''Yes and you aren't first one to say so and Sorry. I guess, that I got little too into this detective game thing.'' You said with sweet smile.

''You call this game…'' Raito was about to shout as he was in shock. This time it seemed genuine. Well his father was police officer after all you thought making it a reason. As for the reason why he stopped was, because Watari had raised his hand in front of him so he quieted down. He was sharp…

''You don't need to say anything, Watari. Instead I have one question for you…'' You said while looking for the picture and as you found it from your pocket you raised the picture up so that only Watari saw it, his eyes widening as he realized who was in the picture. ''Is he alive and well ?'' You lastly asked with sad smile.

Watari just nodded, ''I see, you have regained your memories…'' He whispered silently so that only you and L heard, who was next to you. While light was closer to the main door.

_I can't forget you and I want to run away, but…_  
><em>Even if my wings are trapped by invisible shackles<em>  
><em>Nevertheless, you're such a precious person to me that it's sad<em>

~Tyragosa_  
><em>


	5. Fifth Chapter Her role in the story

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Does one still remember ?_

_Damsel who was in distress once and..._

_Dreamer who never awoke from her dream until now._

**Fifth Chapter**

You stared out of the car's window to see passing pictures of scenery around you. Yagami light was keeping eye on you as he also sat on the car's back seat next to you but you didn't pay attention to him, because your mind was somewhere else. Watari's words hadn't left your head.

_''But he's no longer the Nate River you used to know.''_

Right... the only one you cared for was certain white haired boy. Your best friend and also your first love but not anymore. After all to him you no longer exist in this world, though you cannot blame him.

I should have died back then, anyone would have but not you.

Not any human could survive that torture and bleeding but that's right... you aren't human but Nate river...No, Near doesn't know that.

His only best friend being killed right in front of his eyes... How much should that have hurt him ? a lot, so it's no wonder, that he's changed.

_''He wasn't able to forgive or forget. Since he was very clever for a kid, I offered him position as L's successor... but it seems like he locked all his feelings away.''_

Watari's words kept haunting you in your head and you thought, If only you could tell him that you were still alive but that was impossible and you neither wanted to hurt or confuse him even more than he had already been.

Soon you snapped out of your thoughts as whole car was filled with strange ringtone and it seemed to be coming from L's phone. He picked up his phone and held it close to his ear in strange way, which was very like him now that you had got used to his weird behavior.

''Ryuuzaki, we have huge problem ! Kira is on Sakura TV !'' Matsuda's voice could be heard yelling to the phone and L bought laptop from somewhere and set it to Sakura TV's channel.

''In the first tape, the voice predicted the death of two criminals: Seiichi Machiba and Seiji Machiba. Later as predicted in the tape, they died of heart failure at 7:00 last night and only Kira is capable of doing something like that. Thus, we are certain that those are truly sent from kira. Furthermore, he instructed us to broadcast the second tape today at 5:59 PM We have not watched it ourselves, but the tape should validate the other tapes, as well as Kira's message to the world'' The speaker on sakura TV stated while showing black tapes with different numbers and big TV screen.

''It is now 5:59. The broadcast will now begin''. _''__I am __KIRA__, if this tape was aired exactly at 5:59 pm on April 18th, it should be 5:59:38 right now... 39 seconds... 40... Please change the channel to Taiyou TV. The news anchor will die of heart failure at exactly 6:00 pm.'' _Said the machine muffled voice on screen and L changed the channel like asked. As this was proven to be true he changed channel back to Sakura TV. Where Kira stated to kill another one on channel 24 to prove that he/she was Kira but that was mistake, because both you and L noticed this being strange from the usual Kira.

The phone call was still on and you could hear Kira investigation members panic but L stayed quiet, so Ukita went to stop the broadcast on Sakura TV.

''_I do not mean kill innocent people. I abhor evil and defend justice. The police do not have to be my enemies. They can be my allies, if everyone works together to achieve it, is not difficult to do. As long as no one tries to oppose me, no one else will die. Even if you disagree with me, as long as you don't stand against me in public, I won't kill you. Just wait a little while. The world will become utopia that is otherwise an impossible dream. The world can be full of no one but people of good conscience.'' _This ''Kira'' was still blabbering and on the other laptop screen, that L too got from somewhere was shown live at the front entrance of Sakura TV, which showed Ukita lying on the ground without moving.

This made other investigation members panic even more and Aizawa was about to go there to get himself killed but L stopped him with clever speech.

_''Please give an answer as to whether or not police will cooperate with me to create a new world four days from now on April 22nd. On that same day at 6:10 pm, I have tapes ready to be aired in response to that answer.'' _While saying that someone crashed into the Sakura TV station with armored car. Quite clever, whoever it was.

''Watari do you know vice-director Kitamura's phone number ?'' L suddenly asked to the phone.

''Yes.'' Watari replied and typed the number giving his phone to L.

''This is L, I have request. Someone in the police has seen the broadcast and acted on their own volition, if we do not handle on the situation, this may become disastrous. Go so that you will not be seen. Well then, Vice-director, please carry that out. No please do not hang up.''

''It is Yagami'' Watari said while looking at third phone.

''It's me Yagami, so you were the one in the armored car ?'' L asked as he had took the phone from Watari's hand.

''Are you alright ?'' L asked from Yagami and seemed to receive positive reply. Then he switched phone, explaining vice-director that it was Yagami who was inside Sakura TV station and told Yagami to boldly come out from the front entrance after five minutes. He did as he was asked and got onto the car where you, L, Watari and light already were.

''Good to see you safe.'' Raito said as he saw his father.

''Yeah...'' Yagami muttered as he realized how much he made everyone worry by his rash actions.

''I'll step out, so that Yagami can fit here.'' You said and got off the car.

''Gina ?'' L asked as he saw the weird smile on your face.

''Don't worry, I will come back soon.'' You simply said and ran off.

[Inside Sakura TV station]

''I wonder if kira will see this~'' Young girl wondered aloud with sing song voice, without realizing someone approaching her.

''Greetings Misa Amane... No, should I say fake Kira ?''

''Who are you ?'' The young girl asked looking at the figure, which was hidden behind wall but slowly walked in front of her.

''Me ? No one important as I don't play big role in this game.''

''Why I can't see ? You're not Kira, then who are y-'' The young girl named Amane Misa was about to say but something made her stop...

_From that time on, many years passed_

_And I've finally come to this place_

_No matter how much I wish to return, I never move from this spot_

_When I close my eyes, you are always there smiling_

~Tyragosa


	6. Sixth Chapter Wonders all around

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Ask thy god_

_And another one is lost._

_Answers aren't shown, anywhere in this world._

**Sixth Chapter**

[Amane Misa's pov]

The young girl was quickly silenced as she saw the person before her. Pale girl with long silvery white hair. Her silvery white bangs covered some of her face but one wouldn't miss those crimson eyes. Her eyes were so much different from your own but they definitely were shinigami's eyes. Only one glance could tell one that she wasn't human and the moon itself seemed to illuminate her pale figure.

Deep in her eyes one could see so many emotions mixed, that no one could identify all but what had made you quiet down, was the air around her. Like time had stopped where she stood and you couldn't bring yourself to say anything. Even though you had many questions but what interested her wasn't you.

''So the rumors were true...'' Mostly skeletal looking female shinigami said next to you.

''Why are Death gods, like yourself down here and letting humans play around with your Death Notes?'' The girl in front of you asked. Her graceful voice filled with hatred toward the being before her, even though she wasn't that much different herself.

''The Death Note Misa is using is not my Death Note, I am merely watching over her and don't relate me to Ryuk.'' The skeletal shinigami with name Rem answered.

''Who is Ryuk ?'' You asked not understanding.

''The shinigami who is following Kira.'' Rem simply answered to the curious girl and the unknown girl stood there watching them and realized, that Rem cared for this human girl.

''What is your name child ?'' Rem asked from the silvery white haired girl who just stood there watching the two. Even though Rem knew, that she didn't really have one.

''Some call me Gina but I'm sure, that you know the real answer.'' The girl called Gina stated out with bored tone as if she had been asked this question million times before and the next second she was gone. Only leaving some black feathers on floor, which you picked up.

''She really is fearful being.'' Rem quietly said looking at the open window with full moon on the background...

[Back at the hotel]

''Director Yagami !'' Both Matsuda and Aizawa yelled as they saw their director all right.

''Everyone... I am sorry for acting so brashly, It seems that I got a bit too emotional.'' Yagami apologized and held up paper bag with tapes, that he recovered from Sakura TV station. L took the paper bag and began inspecting the tapes along with the envelope where they were send in, which this ''Kira'' had sent. Yagami took his rest on the nearest sofa as he had just earlier been in hospital and Matsuda was on phone telling vice director Kitamura, that Yagami got out of Sakura TV station safely.

''Aizawa can you analyze this ?'' L asked handing the envelope to Aizawa.

''Yes. Forensics is my specialty, after all.'' Aizawa told as he took the envelope along with the possibly options he could get from doing it.

''I'm counting on you. I'll be looking at the copy tapes first.'' L said with his eyes fixated on the TV screen.

[Gina's pov]

You got back later than you expected but for your luck no one seemed to notice as L had his eyes on the TV screen. You peeked little to the room where he was to see that he was rewatching the fake Kira's show, which was shown earlier on the Sakura TV but there seemed to be more than one tape near TV screen. Was he planning on watching them all night, you wondered looking at the odd detective. You never really understood the way he thinks even now as you had gotten used to his strange behavior and sweets eating habits. As you were about go to your room L stopped you with a question, ''What do you think about this Kira ?''.

For while you wondered why he asked just that question out of all questions he could have asked but now thinking about it was very much like him as he has always been very antisocial and a detective.

''Only that this person speaking in those tapes is not the Kira we are looking for.'' You simply answered to the detective but were stopped by another question.

''Do you know something I do not ?'' L asked now looking at you with his dark eyes. You had to admit, he was very sharp but of course you wouldn't tell him everything about death notes and death gods as the whole thing sounded ridiculous for normal human. After all no matter how good or intelligent Kira and L were, they're both mere humans. L was getting suspicious of your silence, so you had to answer something.

''How could I know more than you already do ?'' You put up stupid act, which L probably saw through but didn't stop you leaving this time and started watching the tapes again.

At the end of corridor you opened door to your room and fell on the bed as you were really tired for some reason, quickly falling asleep.

[L's pov]

Who are you really ? L thought while watching the tapes with the fake Kira speaking of ideal world in them but soon got bored and started eating piece of strawberry shortcake.

Even Watari seemed to know something about her that you didn't and all of her seemed to be just an act but for what ?

Conversation back in the mansion returned to your mind.

''_You don't need to say anything, Watari. Instead I have one question for you…'', ''Is he alive and well ?''Gina had asked with uneasiness and worry shown in her face along with her voice._

''_I see, you have regained your memories…'' Watari whispered quietly but loud enough for you to hear and Gina just nodded._

_''Yes, he is alive but he is no longer the Nate River you used to know. ''Watari had said and you could see Gina's face shocked but she quickly shook it away. _

_''Sadly he wasn't able to forgive or forget. Since he was very clever for a kid, I offered him position as L's successor... but it seems like he locked all his feelings away.'' Watari continued telling and Gina seemed sad for some reason but then she grinned widely putting up her usual fake smile and started walking toward the car. You and light followed her but Watari stood there for a while before coming to the car himself too._

Near was one of the most promising kids in Wammy's house. You had given him some hard cases to solve and he managed them all, so you were little impressed of his abilities but what did he have to do with Gina's past ? You wondered.

This was probably the first time you were interested in someone without any relation to case you were investigating.

Perhaps you had taken Watari's words literally and saw her as your family now.

You slowly got up and took plate with strawberry shortcake piece on your hand and knocked the door of room, which belonged to Gina now but there wasn't answer, so you left the cake piece on the table next to door.

_I thought something would change_

_But everything was exactly the same_

_No matter how hard I try to forget you_

~Tyragosa


	7. Seventh Chapter Bloodied memories

**~Shiroi~Shinigami~ [Death Note]**

_Game of words_

_Glance on the shattered glass_

_Guess one cannot the reason for this chaos_

Seventh Chapter

_''Watari !'' The young girl yelled running to the familiar old man but stopped when she saw something white behind him._

_''Hello how are you Gina ? Today I bought someone with me.'' The old guy wearing black suit told the young girl and moved a little, revealing young boy dressed in white pajamas and he had very pale skin along with his snow white hair. ''This is Nate River.'' Watari introduced._

_''I am called Gina, Nice to meet you Nate.'' The girl told the young boy with smile and he just nodded. But as time passed they got used to each other and became friends. They were close and the shy white haired boy had gotten more open around people. Nate was very intelligent and liked to solve different kind of puzzles. The girl with name Gina often helped him as she too had grown to like them. Also Gina was about three years older than Nate, so she liked teaching him._

_One day Nate had asked her why does she always stay in the mansion all alone, when the world itself was so large. Gina couldn't answer that question as she didn't know and that's when they did something they couldn't have..._

_That was the beginning of chaos..._

Gina woke up heavily panting as she had just seen the same nightmare she sees often. At first it's just happy memory of her and Nate but it's soon covered by blood and horrifying screams of the other victims.

It was one of the memories you wanted to forget but that wasn't possible, because you still felt the pain.

Back in old days Nate wanted show you the outside world, which he often sees but luck wasn't on your side as dangerous serial murderer was on move. He was very clever for a murderer but merciless at that. Even you two children got caught in that mess and later you had discovered, that too was shinigami's doings. The whole story was way too messed up. It was never known had he gone insane or what, because he just disappeared after the case where you two got caught in but that was for good.

You wouldn't know what you would do if you met the same person again. Back then you sacrificed yourself in order to let Near escape, so you were tortured in his place too. The serial murderer was muttering something about dark magic and all other things as he wanted to revive someone but that was impossible.

Near had seen the scene later after he had gotten help but it was too late. Everyone was dead or at least everyone could have been. You had lost way too much blood and your body was covered by cuts. The bodies were buried carelessly by the criminal and later eaten by wild animals, so no one would know, that you were alive. If not for the black blood you would have died or actually it was then, that you were no longer human.

Right now Near couldn't probably even recognize you. Back in his memories you had silky black hair and red eyes. You already had pale skin then but after you ''died'' your skin become even paler and your hair lost it color and changed into silvery white, which it was now and you grew. Only thing that remained same was the eyes, that weren't even yours but your dead mother's. The red death god's eyes with same color as blood.

Always when you were close someone you hurt them. Like you did to Near, even if you didn't mean to. After that incident you decided to stay away from people. Even now that you were working on the Kira case you wouldn't get close to others no matter what. That way you either won't get hurt after someone dies.

Near too chose the same way but deep down he must be blaming himself for your death and the reason why he became L's follower.

''Gina are you awake ?'' Matsuda asked at the other side of door after knocking.

''Y-Yeah.'' You answered back being little startled.

''L wants to discussion about the tapes.'' Matsuda said and left. You got up from your bed and dressed. After dressing you left your room to look for others but were stopped as you saw cake piece on the table next to your door. Smile spread on your face as you picked up the plate with cake. The temperature was quite chilly in the hotel room so it hadn't gotten bad and made it still eatable. Next to the cake there was small spoon which you held up and tasted the strawberry cheese cake. It was good and brightened your mood up after your nightmare. You were thankful to the person who had left it there, though you didn't quite know who would have done so. First person who came to your mind was L as he was always eating sweets but wasn't he antisocial ? Whatever you thought and went to the room where everyone else was discussing about the tapes that were sent by this fake kira, Amane Misa.

L was explaining the contest of every four tapes. Yesterday the fake Kira had been asking for police's cooperation with creating new world. First and second tapes were his conditions. Third tape was ''Yes'' and it would be broadcasted if police agreed to his conditions but L chose fourth tape which was ''No'' and four days later it would be broadcasted on Sakura TV.

_In the midst of the falling flowers and moonlight, you spread your arms,_

_and danced with a smile, but somehow, it felt so sorrowful._

~Tyragosa


End file.
